Usually at various times during the day I have a topic I want to write about in here, but there are more I am thinking that I don't know what to write, I just find myself here. It's been 4 years. 4 years ago I was awaiting my results for various tests. CT, blood work, maybe surgery that would ultimately tell me I had breast cancer, again. My 2nd diagnosis was a totally different type of breast cancer and they had found cancer in my ovaries. Nothing was normal or routine.
But I have learned, WHAT is normal? I have had other struggles unrelated to cancer, were they normal? Is this normal, up, past 11 on a Friday night after laundry, checking e-mails, grades, picture day, sewing a costume. Sometimes I like normal. No "super excitement". My littlest one has picked up the term "Just chill". I'm just chill. It's just chill. So life today is Just chill. AND TRUST ME THAT'S A GOOD THING. When I think about those moments that were all over the place, I don't wanna go back. :)
I have also found that moments pass. And we find almost 18 years later we love our husband more than we did the day we said "I do". We see that 17 years later, a colicky baby is grown into a young man. That all the stress of finding childcare for our babies or the laughter as we picked them up from school is only a moment. We learn that those moments of tears, anguish and pain are just moments and we can let them pass or we can hold onto them and let them become distant memories. But this will pass and we can say WE LIVED IT. WE MADE IT THROUGH. I wanna be that person that has a normal and an abnormal sorta life, because THOSE make the moments.
Tonight, no title. Just chill.
Love you, love me, love you, love me.
No comments:
Post a Comment