The words, I hear over and over. That I play the victim. Without forgiveness, I will continue to hear the words and other hurtful, angry words. They burn in my soul and my voice is snuffed out. I have fought these words over and over in my mind. There was a time when they controlled my actions. There was a time when I gave in and believed them. I guess as a survivor and a fighter the word "victim" makes my skin crawl. I try and rise above, I try and the harder I try, the harder I fall. And when I fall, I'm not allow to say I hurt or it hurts. I'm not allow to feel the pain aloud, because then I make myself the victim. So what do I do? Embrace being a victim? Or continue to fight? Do I apologize? All I can think to do is forgive. Forgive those people for not seeing who I really am. That I can be too strong for myself. That I over think things. I'm working on it though. I'm working on me. On seeing me for who I really am. For seeing my strengths and seeing my weaknesses as really challenges that can be assets.
I do know that words hurt and can for a very long time, or I can let them go and focus on the words of love, understanding and patience.
Love you, love me, love you, love me.
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